Separation is a time to start reflecting. There was a reason you got married and a reason you are getter divorced and it’s important to understand the why’s and take responsibility for what happened. It may be a large role and it may not be but if you don’t learn from the past, you will likely repeat your mistakes in the future.

While reflecting, it is also the time to heal. You may feel an array of emotions ranging from anger to relief. The goal is to get back to feeling normal and getting used to your new reality. Accept the divorce and your new routine.

The best way to move on is to spend time with friends and hobbies. Maybe it’s time to develop new hobbies that you’ve always wanted to try or learn to play an instrument. Your thoughts will be filled with memories good and bad of the past and bring back a variety of emotions and you need consume your time with new thoughts.

When you reflect on yourself, you will discover your red flags. Whether you have a bad temper or impatient, use this time to work on correcting behavior or habits that you need to change. Be friendlier to people and adopt a positive outlook on life and your life will improve. You are not ready to date yet because you will only attract someone who is attracted to people with problems and you will become their DIY project. Fix yourself or someone else will try to fix you. Once you become the person you want to be, your options will expand making it easier to find the perfect partner.

Set goals for your life. Know what you want to accomplish this month, and put a plan in place to get you where you want to be in 3, 5 and 10 years. Point yourself in that direction and take it day by day. Nothing moves in a straight line so accept setbacks and take ownership of your mistakes. The goal is to try to be a little better every day.

Get healthy. You will feel better when you exorcise and eat healthy food. You will also look better. Exorcise is a great way to reduce stress. Just going for a 20 minute walk has tremendous benefits for your health and wellbeing.

At some point you will be ready to date and start a new relationship so take this opportunity to understand women better. Don’t let their behavior or the things they say confuse you and don’t be intimidated by a pretty woman. Get comfortable talking to women. You don’t need to walk away with a phone number from every woman you meet so friendzone them first and wait until you know them better to decide whether you want to pursue a relationship. Rushing into a relationship is a well-worn path that can lead to your next divorce.

By taking your time and raising your value, you make yourself more attractive and increase your options. The best time to do it is when you are single. When you get yourself back on track and find your purpose, your future will be bright.